This wasn't the post for this week, but after today's amazing adventure in snorkeling and island hopping; I couldn't get these thoughts out my head.
I'm a planner by nature- it freaks me out when something is not planned, even more so after the birth of my children. So of course, this blog and all the projects I'm working on are all planned, and the business dreams I have for the future are pushed until I have more time to get to it. The thing is- I already feel like I am being pushed in so many directions and at the end of a rope holding on dearly, so I don’t fall. If I add more to my already full plate now, I’ll not only fall off the rope but risk losing everything I have built to this point- career, finance, reputation, etc.
That's the mentally I had coming to this beautiful island- Antigua. It truly feels like paradise here. Today we went island hopping on a boat full of tourists like us called Excellence. I sat at the very tip of the ship and had an unobstructed view of the Caribbean Sea and the many different islands. The sun was blazing, and the breeze felt amazing. The music was Ed Sheeran- Shape of You. Of course, all this has nothing to do with what I was thinking, but I want you all to get a clear vision.
Somewhere between Ed singing "every day discovering something new" and "I'm in love with your body" I drifted off into my thoughts…
If I keep pushing my dreams and plans to the curve because I am too busy for them today, when will I ever be free? When will my busy life ever settle down and be quiet? Will it be when the kids grow up? If that’s the case, then boy I have a LONG way to go; Novena (the baby in our house) isn’t even one yet, and I want more children. Will it be when Bini’s company is at the point where it’s self-sustainable, and he can slow down? Hmm… I have a better chance of waiting for the children to grow up because that man LOVES his work. OR will it be when I finally stop making excuses and just go for it? There will always be something happening; there will always be commotion and problems I have to fix at home or work. If I want my plans to work, it’s up to me to make things happen and the time is NOW. I need to stop worrying so much about the future and focus on the now. Take everything day by day and see where life takes me. Make moves, move my vision board closer to where I have a clear view of it, claim my dreams and go for them. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.
My fear of rejection or falling off the rope and losing is holding me back from my true potential. Yes, I am currently on the edge of that rope, but then again, I’m also at the beginning and have ways to go. If I can manage to move past my fear, then I can become anything I want, open anything I want, and do whatever it is I want to do with my life. It really is that simple. This is just the beginning. There is so much more in store for this Eritrean/Ethiopian American Mama!
As I walked off the boat earlier, I smiled looked up at the sky and thanked God for showing me the light. He always has my back, and this is just another sign of it. Bini looked at me weird and asked what I was smiling about. My response: “Baby, this is just the beginning… let’s go I have writing to do.”
Your vision belongs to you! Don’t let anyone or anything make you push it aside. It took coming to paradise for me to see that. I hope for you; it’s simply by reading this post.
As always, I’d love to hear your journey.