Tag: mental health

It seems like a lifetime ago when I last posted on the blog.

So much has changed since then. I wrote this blog and sent it to my subscribers in an email a few weeks ago. I felt it should also be shared as a series on the blog, because so many women are experiencing the same feelings I had and still have.

I recently had a baby – a son named Lucas, who is the cutest, sweetest little bundle of joy (except when he poops, I honestly do not remember my other kids having such nasty poop, but that’s a different story). LOL

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Anyway, in addition to having a new baby, I also wrote a book, which believe me when I tell you is just like having a baby (without the physical pain of childbirth).

One thing I am noticing at home more and more these days is how everyone is entering a new season of life. Bini and I, in this new season of our lives are still waking up in awe to the fact that we are now parents to 4 children. In this new season we are both dealing with our ever growing businesses, our family and most importantly trying to work on ourselves so that we can be better partners for each other as well.

Our children’s new seasons are all quite different. My oldest child Bella is a freshman in high school and is dealing with the drama of being 14 – trust me, it’s a lot. My son, who was once my calm and collected kid, is now in 5th grade and somehow realized he has a voice and therefore it should be used. Too bad he is using it to argue and complain about his sisters instead of useful things!

And my princess Novena is now 5 and shares her time between pre-k and kindergarten. In this season she has become an activist for every child on the playground who needs someone to stand up for them. I know I know, sounds pretty crazy right? Trust me though, I couldn’t make this stuff up even if you paid me. All this to say that our house can sometimes feel like a zoo, and honestly I wouldn’t have it any other way, but boy oh boy, is it tiring.

When we had Lucas, I thought I handle everything that was coming my way. I honestly thought I could have Lucas, publish my book, be an amazing mom to my other kids, show up for Bini, show up for Rahwa (my little sister who is getting married in a few months), lose all the baby weight in time for her wedding (more on this later too), show up for my friends, family, clients and IG family, and still be mentally, physically, and emotional sane. YUP, I THOUGHT I COULD DO IT ALL AND I WAS SO VERY WRONG.

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During these last few weeks, I learned the hard way just how impossible it was – to do it all. I remember my breaking point, and honestly even thinking about that day makes me cringe. I won’t share the entire story, but let’s just say that I found myself hiding in my closet crying while I could hear my children – ALL FOUR OF THEM – either crying or screaming for me and at each other. It was not a pretty sight to say the least.

Have you ever done that? Hid from your children and just prayed that somehow the noise would just stop, or that you could get a minute to just breathe? Just a simple inhale and exhale means everything to a mother that is on the verge of a break down.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my children, but is it wrong to also want to love myself as well? Is it wrong to want space to breath and simply just be? That’s when I knew I could not do it all without losing my mind, or worse – losing myself! I had been down this path before and knew the signs all too well, so I was lucky to get out of it before the post-partum depression (yup I said it – DEPRESSION) hit.

In the weeks that followed that ugly yet important self- realization day, I started to reflect on different aspects of my life. Doing this exercise has always helped me prioritize and scale back on what’s not important at the moment. As I kept reflecting, one scripture in particular kept showing up for me.

ROMANS 12:2 NIV:
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

I’ve loved this scripture since the first day I read it years ago, and every time I come across it, I honestly learn something new. This time around I got to STOP! Stop and see what is happening around me. Stop and breathe and trust that God has my back. Stop trying to be everything for everyone. Stop breaking myself to please others. Stop mentally abusing myself because I don’t look a certain way. And the most important one… STOP TRYING TO GO BACK TO WHAT I ONCE WAS AND MAKING THAT MY NORMAL.

Stay tuned for part two of this blog, where I will talk about these feelings in depth.

This month’s Empowered Women Empower Women series features an amazing woman specializing in helping people gain their health back through nutrition education, health coaching, and wait for it… styling!! Yup, she does it all, and she does it so that you can live a life where you are thriving. She does this, in part, using Reset Lifestyle.

Wintana is an entrepreneur, a clinical dietitian, a former model, a mother to two handsome boys, and a wife, among many other things.

Enjoy reading all about Wintana Kiros’ journey and how she became the fantastic mompreneur she is today! Read on as she tells us more about “Reset Lifestyle”.

1)  Tell me about your journey- What inspired you to become a registered dietitian/health coach and a stylist, and what do you want readers to gain from ‘Reset Lifestyle’?

I became a health coach and stylist because my passion is truly helping people. I modeled in college and enjoyed the creative styling side of fashion. When I graduated, I began my career as a clinical dietitian. Over the years as a clinician, I realized that diet and exercise were only 33% of the solution to having true well-being. This led me to launch Reset Lifestyle. I offer my clients a whole-person approach addressing their nutrition, stress, sleep, mental health, hydration, and style. Allowing us to feel good, look good, and do good for our family, friends, and community.

My hope is that readers understand the truth about their well-being. Unlike what we see and hear in the media, well-being is more than counting calories and exercising to death. Well-being is seeing yourself as a whole being, addressing your stress, sleep, mental health, and being intentional about hydrating your body. It is essential to nourish your body and move your body because it feels good, not just as a form of reward or punishment. This is why reset lifestyle is so helpful!

2)    What are some of the hurdles you faced when you first started your business and some that you’re still facing today?

I would say the majority of the hurdles were in my head. I was worried that I didn’t know enough to help my clients despite the many years of training and work experience. I soon started to see results in my clients’ lives, and that built my confidence. I now focus on curating tools and resources to help my clients sustain the results they have achieved.  The only hurdle I face today is helping individuals see the importance of investing in themselves to work with me and regain their health. 

3)    What do you wish people knew more about when it comes to working moms, especially moms that run their own businesses?

I wish people respected our time and saw us as business owners. We are NOT running a hobby, and we have bills to pay, just like the 9-5 employees. We are highly organized and value our time more than ever in this season of our lives.  We give 100% to everything we do, we show up for our family, and we are the greatest cheerleader for our clients.  We love what we do, and we want to do more of it every day.

4)    If there was one thing you’ve done that you could go back in time and change, what would it be?

I wish I would have just started earlier; I held myself back, thinking I needed more information or resources before I started. The truth is, I developed and created most of my tools and resources once I started seeing my clients. 

5)    Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Five years from now, I see myself continuing to grow my virtual practice and being present for things that matter the most. I will be an expert in women’s health and support women to accomplish their goals in life. Also, I will partner with different health care providers to offer well-rounded wellness services.

6)    You quit your full-time clinician career to follow your dreams of opening your own business in 2019, all while raising two young boys.  How do you manage to balance it all- motherhood/marriage/building a business/friendship?

The truth is there is no such thing as balancing your different hats as a woman.  You just start to be great at delegating various tasks so you can spend more quality time with the people you love. I choose to be present and fully engaged in whatever hat I am wearing at the moment. I used to think I had to give equal amounts of “time” to all my different hats; however, it was unrealistic. Now, I intentionally choose to be present at the moment, so I can show up for the people in my life and my clients instead of dividing my attention and feeling guilty all the time.

7)     In your eyes, what’s your most significant accomplishment?

I am doing it scared and leaning on my faith to help me walk this unknown and uncertain territory called Mompreneurship. I trust God completely to provide for my needs because I am doing what he has called me to do.  Therefore, he has provided for every mission he gives us.  God has consistently provided for every need in my business, and he has not failed me!

8)    What advice do you have for someone that wants to become a health coach/dietitian or start their own business?

I say start, don’t wait for things to be ‘perfect.’  Just start, and everything will start to show up for you. Trust the process. Failure is just feedback. Most importantly, fail fast and forward so you can get great at what you do.

Also, I recommend finding your village. A tribe of like-minded people in your field that you can support and lean on as you continue to grow your business. Since beginning Reset Lifestyle, I have made some amazing connections that have helped me grow as a dietitian and business owner.

9)    What are some empowering words or quotes you often find yourself turning to?

“Somebody somewhere is depending on you to do what God has called you to do.”

“I never lose; I either win or learn” – Nelson Mandela.

These quotes have grounded me in challenging times. I am grateful every day that I get to do what I love.

10)    Do you have any last words for our readers…?

Perfection is the perfect recipe for inaction; just start whatever you were supposed to do. Trust the process, things, and people will begin to show up for you so that you can pursue your assignment. Most importantly, God ALWAYS has a provision for the mission he has assigned you to complete. Please do it for the kingdom and not for the culture.

I hope you enjoyed reading all about Wintana’s journey.  More importantly, I hope her story inspired you to follow your dreams and create what you feel is missing in the world.

Lastly, if you are looking to start your healthy living journey and would like to join a tribe that will cheer you on and assist you with the nutritional side of your new path, check her site out at www.resetlifestyle.com.  

Please be sure to stay tuned for monthly featured posts from other empowered women. Contact me if you would like to share your story and empower our readers. As always, I’d love to hear from you.

Always,

Luwam

Funny title, right? Checking in with yourself sounds like something we do for other people. How would one even begin to check in with themselves? I mean, what do you do, talk to yourself in front of the mirror?

I mean by ‘checking in’ to have the brutal yet honest conversation with yourself about everything that is going on in your space, whether good or bad. This could be done in written or verbal format and is a great way to face any issue that weighs you down. It’s essential to do this daily (maybe even twice a day) because when we aren’t dealing with our problems head-on, they tend to take up more and more mental space, and that’s one key factor that can lead us to stress, anxiety and depression.

Your emotional state can be hard to understand; unlike your physical state, it isn’t visible to the eye. You don’t know what you don’t know. However, our emotional state plays a massive role in our everyday lives. It all starts with our thinking process. My mentor, January Donovan taught me the thought process in the easiest possible form:

1. Thoughts lead to Emotions
   1. Example: “I don’t like this person” turns to being annoyed and frustrated whenever that person comes around you
2. Emotions lead to a chemical reactive in your brain that takes all the information and processes it.
3. Example: You are annoyed by that person that you don’t like, so your mind automatically thinks this person is not good. You don’t even know this person enough to realize whether they are good or bad, but since you thought this way, your brain processed that information.
4. Chemical Reactive leads back to your Thoughts
   1. Definitely do not like this person
5. Thoughts lead to your Behavior
   1. You ignore the person, or you are rude
6. That Behavior becomes your story
   1. “Well, I am who I am, and I don’t like her.”

This exercise is vital and can be done with any experience in your life.  When you consciously think about your inner dialogue, and see how it is showing up in your behavior, you will start to be aware that you are in control and not fall back into your old behavior. Let these five steps be your wakeup call whenever you feel frustrated or unhappy about something.

Remember, the thoughts you focus on will expand, so please always try to think about things that empower you and give you joy.

If you want to learn more about your thinking process, or how to manage your mind, check out my new program, where we work on a holistic approach, working from the inside out. It is a three-month fitness and personal development program that will focus on the WHOLE YOU (mental, physical, and spiritual).

I hope this blog helps you or someone you know. As always, I’d love to hear from you. What are you doing to manage your thoughts and your mind?

Always,

Luwame