About fourteen years ago, I was reading Chicken Soup for the Couple's Soul and came across an amazing story of a married couple that played a unique game from the moment they met each other over 50 years ago. The goal of the game was to write the word “SHMILY” in secret places where the other person had to find it. Once found, it would be their turn to hide it, and on the game went.
I loved the concept and tried it with Bini the next day. We didn’t live together at the time, so I wrote the word “SHMILY” in all his notebooks and waited for him to catch on. A week or so passed before he texted me a picture of my note while in class and asked me what it meant. I’ll never forget my response… “DUDE... it took you long enough LOL!” That night I told him the story and thought nothing more of it. Then a couple of days later, I found a note in my wallet with the words SHMILY written in Bini’s handwriting.
Bini and I have been playing the SHMILY game since then, and we find papers with SHMILY written everywhere around the house, the cars, my bags, his wallet, etc. My favorite place by far was when I saw it on the shower glass. He must have written it using the steam after a shower. Another great memory is from our wedding. We incorporated the word into our wedding details, and of course, we mentioned it in our vows. Today, Bini has it as his license plate and every time I look it at it makes me smile. It is such a sweet reminder of the love we share for each other.
Sometimes I find notes while we’re fighting and I can’t tell if they were placed before or after the fight! It helps bring us closer and remember the good instead of focusing on the bad.
In any marriage and especially in mine, things are never perfect. We constantly fight, forget to communicate on important decisions and then expect the other person to simply just know what’s going on, and we seem to play the “I’m right- you’re wrong” card quite often. Yet, I wouldn’t trade him and all our craziness for anything in the world. SHMILY is a clear statement of the love and respect we share for one another. It’s our reminder to keep fighting for our marriage and each other, to love and respect one another through the bad and the good times.
I’ve saved the best part for last! SHMILY stands for...
See How Much I Love You
The story of that couple that played this loving game was written by their granddaughter years after her grandma passed away and she saw how deeply sadden her grandpa was. She said:
“Although I couldn’t begin to fathom the depth of their love, I had been privileged to witness its unmatched beauty.”
That’s the kind of love I want my children to notice growing up in this house. The kind that is forgiving, honest and pure. We still have lots of work before we get there but playing SHMILY helps us get closer every day.
If you decide to start playing or if you already are, I hope it’s doing the same for you.
As always, I’d love to hear your take on the little things you do to stay close as a couple? Please leave your comments below.