“Are you happy?” I asked him on the flight coming home from Dubai. “Do I make you happy? Be honest, it’s important for me to know.”
He looked at me funny, liked I had 2 heads on my neck and asked where this was all coming from. I couldn’t tell him, because I had no idea myself. It could have been because we were just coming back from what was by far the best birthday trip EVER, and I knew how hard he worked planning it all with my sister. It could have been because I was just so happy and wanted to make sure he felt the same way; I don’t know, but what I did know was that I needed to hear his response. Funny, I don’t even remember what he said that day, but I’m sure it was somewhere around the lines of OFCOURSE!
That conversation led us to think about our marriage goals. In past years, Bini and I have listed out our yearly goals separately, only to link up afterwards and go over them. We have always been able to use one another as a sounding bar, a comfort zone where anything said is known to come from a place of love and wisdom. Together, we tend to write out our parental goals for the upcoming year; things we want to do together as a family or need to fix around the house, money we want to save and places we want to visit with the kids. We typically write out our goals for the children and what we want to see them accomplish as well.
What we don’t do, is write out our marriage goals as a team. Instead they tend to fall on our separate lists (only to be discussed on later). But, on that plane up in the air on October 6th 2018, we decided to do things a little different for 2019 and write out our marriage goals together (kind of like a honey-do list for everything we need to do as a couple).
Here are some of the goals we listed... Feel free to use them for your marriage as well:
This is always top on my list, even though we go on date nights and spend time together, I never feel as though it is enough. When you spend time together, you learn more about each other and create memories that will last a lifetime. One key thing to work on, is being present when we are spending time together (i.e.- stay off the phones).
You’re a team now… it’s you and him against the world... never forget that. Marriage gets easier once you fully understand that.
This is a tough one! There is so many things we disagree on, from how to discipline our children to different projects we take on individually. It’s hard backing up something that you fully do not understand, but part of loving one another is fully allowing the other to dream and supporting those dreams.
When was the last time you and your hubby hosted your friends over or you went out to dinner just to catch up as a group? We seem to catch up more on social media than we do in person and that has to change.
Easier said than done and Guilty as charged! This is where communication comes to play. Talk about what’s bothering you instead of letting it build a wedge between the two of you.
Remember to always put each other first and keep your priorities in check. All marriages are a work-in-progress and need constant checking in. I hope 2019 is the year your marriage blossoms into one of love and abundance.
As always, I’d love to hear from you. What are your marriage goals for 2019? Be sure to leave your comments below.