Motherhood

How Mothers Make It All Work

Ever think you’d be a millionaire if you had a dollar for every time someone asked you- “How do you do it all”? I know I do! LOL

That is a very valid question though… how do we do it all? We play so many roles daily, from mother and wife to business owner or employee, to the sister, daughter, friend, chauffeur, cook, housekeeper, tutor/teacher… I can keep going and going.

Most of us have no idea how we do it, all we know is that we wake up to a routine every day wearing different hats and pleasing the entire world as we hold the burden on our shoulders day in and out.  

Every mother has her own style to how she keeps not just her life organized but her entire family’s and that’s perfectly okay because there isn’t one set way to being a perfect parent. In fact, I don’t think there is an ideal way at all, which means whatever you are doing that is working for you, is the way to go.

With that said, if you feel as though you don’t have everything under control and life just seems to be creeping up on you at all times- know you are not ALONE. We are always so hard on ourselves and try to do EVERYTHING when the reality is that we are ONLY one person and can only control but so much.

As a mother, wife, blogger, personal trainer, entrepreneur and 9-5 career woman,  I am learning all this now and trying to be better at delegating things so that I do not feel like I’m always drowning and fighting life head-on.

Here are some things I’ve started to do to make life easier for me and my family:

1)    Everyone needs to pull their own weight!

Like I said earlier, I am only one person and can do but so much! The kids and Bini have to meet me half way when it comes to getting chores done around the house. Bella and Lorenzo each have chores now that involve keeping their own rooms clean and a particular portion of the house. I loved this idea because not only does it make them responsible but it also teaches them the value of hard work. Every Saturday at our home, you will hear each one of my family members complaining about CLEAN UP DAY but once it’s all done, they all love the outcome.

2)    It is okay to Delegate- You do not have to do it all alone!

I had struggled with this concept (I still do to some extent). The idea of relying on someone else for matters that I am used to taking care of myself was and to some degree still is VERY DIFFICULT for me. I think it all comes down to a trust factor though! I feel like I cannot trust people (even Bini) to take care of the kids the way I would. It also has something to do with perfectionism and wanting things done a certain way.

By delegating tasks that would require Bini or my family and friends to handle, I am letting go of some responsibility which in return frees me up to do other things.

The only thing I would warn you about when it comes to delegating is to manage your expectations for people. No one will do things the way you do and that’s okay, as long as tasks are getting done, the kids are alright, happy and safe, you can keep letting your partners/family and friends handle things for you.

You will realize that IT REALLY DOES TAKE A VILLAGE TO RAISE A CHILD.

Just some of the amazing people in my village

3)    Perfectionism is overrated

The old me would have never said that... oh, no way! I would instead tell you, that as a mother, my job is to make everything perfect for them. That’s how my mom made it for me...but guess what… I wouldn’t have known whether it was perfect or not because that was the only mother I had and she was doing parenting the only way she knew how. Who is to say that was or was not perfect?

How cool is this picture.. shows the behind the scenes of trying to get a family of five ready

My job as a mother is to be the best mom to my kids, LOVE them with all my heart and to teach them right from wrong while providing a roof over their heads, food on the table, and clothes on their backs. That’s it! That’s parenting for you! Where perfection comes to play is when we try to make our jobs as parents into something it is not.

4)    Planners are our BEST FRIENDS!

Whether you are a writer like me and write every single minute of the day in your planner (something I promised myself I would not do this year) or you free style it; planning is KEY.

I truly believe in the phrase “If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail”. For us to stay ahead and keep our homes, careers, relationships, etc. afloat we need to be able to set time and plan accordingly.

It was only through planning that I was/am able to get everything done from making sure that I attend to the children, to hanging out with Bini, to having time for the blog, work, gym, etc.

If you aren’t using it already, I highly encourage you to get your copy of the Luwamé Life Planner. It will help you tremendously and give you the space and encouragement to follow your dreams!

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My methods are by no means perfect, but for right now they work perfectly for me and my family. As always, I’d love to hear from you. What are some ways you are making it all work for your family? Do you ever feel like you are ‘all over the place’ and cannot find the time you need for yourself? Try reading the Miracle Morning and start practicing some of the habits. You won’t ever question your time again.

Yours,

about me

Luwam
A program analyst by day and a blogger by night; my love of fitness, healthy living, and empowering other women started...

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