When I created this series (and my sincere apologies that I haven’t kept with it, I promise to do better this year), I dreamt of creating a space where we could all learn from each other and grow together. Every single woman that was featured on the blog has done extraordinary things- not just for herself but for her family, community, country and so forth. Tiemert is a prime example of what a strong woman looks like. Someone who faces her fears and laughs at them, who walked away from her past deciding that it would/could NOT hold her back. Today, through her blog- ‘Unchaining Me,’ she shares her personal stories so you can not only learn from her mistakes but also understand that you deserve to be happy and free from the chains that are holding you back.
She has unchained not only herself but all the countless readers that read her blog posts and is definitely an empowered woman who is empowering other women daily.
Enjoy reading all about her journey into the blogging world and how she balances life as a mother/wife/writer and activist!
I've always had a love affair with words and with language. As a little girl and in spite of my father's disapproval, I would perform poems or drama segments I memorized in front of family and family friends. I wrote my first poem when I was in 3rd grade, and something in me knew I was meant to write. Life seemed to take me far away from my dream of becoming a writer as I formed a family at a young age and then continued to pursue more 'realistic' dreams. In retrospect, I was only being given experiences to write about and made to build the courage I would need to share my story authentically. As the name implies, 'unchaining me' is all about liberating ourselves from mindsets, habits, cultural norms and energies that do not serve us in our growth to becoming the best versions of ourselves. My intention is to spark curiosity, conversation with self and others in order to heal from our past, allow the future to unfold and give the present moment our best.
Changing my outlook on success was the first challenge. I had to begin by changing the agreement I adopted as my own when it came to success. To be successful looked a certain way, and all else felt like a failure to me. I was after money and a title, not fulfilling my hearts truest desires. Defeating my own mentality of fear of failure has to be the biggest challenge I faced while I contemplated and started blogging. The fear of failure and "what would people say" also tested my stamina to step into the unknown and share from a place of authentic vulnerability.
Another challenge was the thought of how my loved ones would react. I had to think about their feelings. My husband is a private person, and he took a leap with me on my quest to connect with my readers openly.
I continue to learn how to be consistent with my writing, regardless of a surge in creativity or inspiration. That is teaching me how to let go of the illusion of perfection and the attachment to the outcome, instead, I want to simply trust and enjoy the process.
As a new mom to a 7-month-old, I have huge respect for moms that especially have to be at work and away from their babies for extended hours. I am fortunate enough to do what I love from home, and I am grateful for that. It's a constant strive for harmony, in my opinion, to be a selfless mother and goal-driven woman simultaneously. Perfect balance as we imagine it is unachievable to me, designed to wear us out and still throw some guilt our way. Some days we kick ass as mothers and other days we achieve leaps in our personal aspirations. We must embrace both days.
I gave this question a lot of thought. At first glance, a few things popped in my head. The more I pondered upon it, I could not see myself for who I am now without things happening EXACTLY the way they did. So, nothing. One of my favorite lines in a song says "I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now." I believe every setback, mistake, heartbreak, and challenge was part of the grand design of becoming who I am now.
Although thinking about the future reminds me of my anxiety-ridden past where I used to obsess on outcomes and therefore resent the journey, I do refer to the future from time to time to remind myself what I intend to do with my life and talents. In the career realm, I see myself having finished a self-discovery guided journal I am working with a partner to create, having written a book and coaching people from different walks of life on how to live mindful and rewarding lives, continuing to grow my blog and connect with my readers. Personally, I see myself continuing to be curious about life in all the roles I play, taking it all in with openness and non-resistance.
Yes! I have an amazing husband who shares in whatever it takes to make it work for our little ones and us. He shifts seamlessly into a dad and a cook after a long day at work and during weekends, insisting I take hours and days away from the house whenever he is around. I'm blessed with a babysitter who helps out when we need her, a niece who comes and cares for the kids so that my husband and I can enjoy date nights. My son and stepson, both12 years old, help out a lot with keeping their rooms tidy, loading and unloading the dishwasher, doing laundry and playing with their baby sister. I can't imagine how overwhelmed I would've been without all of them showing up and making life less demanding. I usually write my blogs and work on other projects after they are tucked in as I also tend to be a night owl and my creative energy surges at night.
Loving myself enough to let my past go!
For a long time, I regurgitated on past mistakes and soaked my life with a poisonous concoction of guilt, shame, and victimhood. This tendency sucked my self-esteem dry and in turn made me dependent on other people for validation and approval. Needless to say, this self-destructive habit resulted in a lot of depression, anxiety and unhealthy relationships with myself and others. Through therapy and a lot of self-reflection, I was able to turn my awareness inwards to embark in the most rewarding relationship I've ever been in, one with my true self. Self-love and self-acceptance allowed my surrender to the present moment so that I can give it my best. From a place of self-adoration, I was able to love people who mattered to me, pay attention to my heart's desires and well, live my best life!
Words have power over the writer and the reader. Don't overthink to see if it's a certain way or be attached to a particular end result. Write!
Don't wonder if you are a writer. If you write, you're one!
Titles only matter to the ego where as the soul just wants to be expressed. Honor the soul instead.
Not to the opinions of others but your very own patterns of thinking that pays attention to it. Listen to what your inner dialogue is and make sure you question the thoughts that don't serve you. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself.
Don't wait! There will never be a perfect time to begin doing what you love because every moment is one.
When you want something badly enough, the universe conspires in your favor. Set out with good intentions and the rest will unfold while you have fun playing out your dreams.
“When you know better, you do better” Myah Angelou
It reminds me of the fluidity of life, and how we are meant to evolve, change, learn and improve.
“And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anaïs Nin
This quote keeps me open. It reminds me that every venture into the unknown is a risk but that we're meant to take risks just like ships were intended to sail stormy waters and not remain docked at shore. We will find ourselves in forests navigating our way through and out the other side only to stumble upon another one. We must choose the courage to proceed versus the crippling fear of what may await inside. Through the journey, we are made stronger and more resilient for what’s to come. That is the meaning and beauty of life.
Luwame is an influential woman I admire and call a friend. I have deep respect for you, her readers, for choosing to follow her journey and learn from her life. I am honored to share my journey with you and be a part of this community. Thank you for reading!
I hope you enjoyed reading Tiemert's amazing journey and more importantly I hope it has inspired you. Subscribe to her blog Unchaining Me so you can get all the updated blog posts sent right to your inbox.
Please be sure to stay tuned for monthly featured posts from other empowering women. Contact me if you would like to share your story and empower our readers. As always I'd love to hear from you.