Author: luwadminme

I guess all us moms with school-aged kids have one sure thing in common these days; the fear of sending our children back to school or the dread of having to homeschool them again for only God knows how long.

Today, I’m writing to you from one concerned mom to another. It’s been a topic that has been lingering on my mind and quite often a hot discussion at our house.

I had mixed emotions about homeschooling from the very beginning but I tried my best to make it work and for some time, we did great! The kids had their own little corner of our home designated for “school time” where they would sit and learn from 9am-2pm daily. They had a schedule on a whiteboard with their classes and all was going pretty well, UNTIL, the kids started getting comfortable with the idea of being home and took online learning as an early summer vacation. As the days passed by, it became harder and harder to keep them on track and it was also during the time, that my workload increased which meant, I had little time to keep up with them without affecting my own deadlines. That’s when I realized and came to the decision that, in order to keep them on top of their school work, I had to decrease my workload and fully commit to being with them. I took the break as a sign from God, not just to be with my kids, but also for my own sanity. I needed to come up for air and that break gave it to me.

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FAST FORWARD!!!!

All that said.. do I want to homeschool again? HECK NO!

Do I think it’s the best thing for the kids right now? YES!

Did our children go back to school? YES… and while I know that it’s a bold decision that could very well backfire in my face, against all the odds, against everything we have been watching on the news, we decided in August to send our children back to school… Here is why!

While I agree 100% that virtual learning is the way to go with COVID numbers going up daily, I feel like we are placed in a very hard predicament. Our current school fully intended to open their doors on August 24^th, with measures in place, such as temperature checks and, wearing masks at all times to keep the children and facility safe.

Unlike local schools in the area, we were not given the opportunity to vote whether we would prefer to send the children back or continue with virtual learning. In fact, private schools in our area were given the chance to choose whether to open or not, and pretty much all schools chose to open their doors. I know what you are thinking. Well, take them out of that school and into another, right? I agree! So, I did the research and called around local schools in our area. I even visited other Catholic Schools, in hopes of hearing something different that I wasn’t getting at our school. It was all pretty much the same information. In fact, most of the schools I visited had at a minimum 16-20 kids in the classroom. Which got me thinking…okay, so if all the Catholic Schools are opening their doors and the majority of schools have larger classes than where my kids are currently attending, aren’t I safer right where I am? Where the classes are smaller?

I thought, what if I left them there…made sure that they were well trained on the importance of wearing a mask, social distancing, mindful hand washing and NEVER oh please NEVER touch their face?!

Do I feel like I am playing with fire here? Yup…just a little and I don’t like it one bit, but if I’ve learned anything during 2020, it’s been that we are NEVER really in control. The minute we realize that and work with what God has given us, is the minute we free ourselves from the battle within. It’s the minute we let stress and anxiety go. This doesn’t mean you become complacent and stop striving for more. NO WAY! It means you continue to push forward, you pivot and diversify your life when needed (I have a great podcast about this exact topic that you should definitely check out called Living through COVID- how and why to pivot and diversify) and you always YES ALWAYS work with what you have. When you do this, and when you remember your blessing instead of what you don’t have, things always somehow work in your favor.

So with that, I ask that if you’re a mother that like me sent your kids to school OR even if you will be homeschooling again this year, please know that God will never give you what you cannot handle. Whatever decision you made for your family, know that it’s the best decision for you given the situation and the time. Don’t let anyone shame you, don’t let what other moms are doing make you feel a certain way about what you are doing. In case, no one has said it to you today, YOU ARE DOING GREAT, MOM!

I should add that now 2 weeks into the school year, I am feeling a little more at ease and confident in my children’s ability to navigate & protect themselves in school. I pray daily that God protects them and their school from harm’s way and yea, I’m old school and give them lots of Holy Water to drink before I send them out the door.

I hope this blog helps you or someone you know. These are crazy times and everyday will be different, but at the very least, we are still waking up to see each and every day. Knowing that will always keep you grateful.

As always, I’d love to hear from you. Please be sure to share what your kids will be doing this school year and how you feel about it. Also, check out my new website. There are so many cool new things happening right now on Luwame.com and I’d love to get your feedback on them.

Much Luv, 

Luwam T. 

In the words of LL Cool J: “Don’t call it a come back. I’ve been here for years.”

This song is the soundtrack for my hiatus! As you know, I took a break. A break from writing, from social media and from everything Luwamé related. I did it to shift my focus full-time on my family and more importantly to work on my inner self. 

During the first couple of weeks of my hiatus, I split my time between teaching the kids, cooking/cleaning, and spending one on one time with my family. I worked out, took up running again, read both of Rachel Hollis best-selling books, prayed a great deal, journaled, prayed again, slept in, learned how to make injera, joined a masterclass called The Woman School, did a whole bunch of DIY face and hair masks with Bella and my sister Rahwi, took up TikTok, and finally sat in silence meditating and seriously reflecting on my life as a whole. 

For me meditating basically meant- my time to do NOTHING. I literally sat in my room or closet, closed my eyes and did/thought of nothing. It was very hard in the beginning- (you try sitting there and pushing out the thousands of thoughts that enter your brain. I felt like I was in a Star Wars movie and Jedi Master Yodi (my head) was fighting Darth Vader (all my thoughts). These two characters fought on opposite sides and had very different views for how the galaxy should be governed.)  Imagine having to sit there and fight all the thoughts away from your head. So again, it’s very hard, but somehow after weeks of trying, I’ve finally been able to time myself to 4 minutes of nothing. 

I’ve talked about meditation for years, but for me it was always mixed with something else, like prayer, reflection, journaling etc. I never really sat in silence doing nothing before in my life. In the process of learning how to mediate the right way, I began to sit with the idea that I- Luwam Tesfaye, created this out of nothing but a dream, a dream to help women everywhere live their best life possible, for them to see themselves in a new light. I did that, so while I’ve made thousands of mistakes along the way, I built something beautiful as well.

Something I am proud of, something my family is proud of and in that moment, I realized that for all my mess ups in life, there are so many “wow” moments that I have taken for granted! Have you ever done that before? Do you only concrete on the negative or bypass all the successful moments because you don’t feel a celebration is in order… like there is more that needs to be done so why celebrate? I did that for a long time, I kept saying, I’d celebrate when this or that happened and then it would happened but by the time that took place, I was already on the next project, on the next task, never giving myself time to breathe and just be, to celebrate all my wins.

Being able to stay still allowed me to absorb it all and during this break, you better believe I did a whole lot of celebrating! 

The biggest thing I want to share is that I started therapy, and for someone who feels like she had already worked through her baggage and gotten through it, let me tell you; I was wrong! There is so much I held on to, with my marriage issues, my father’s death, my mother moving, the fact that I had kids young, and my childhood. There is so much that I never really thought was an issue until we started peeling each layer of my life in pieces.

As each piece got pulled away, I could feel the weight on my shoulders get lighter and lighter. It’s funny actually, we never realize what we are going through when we are in it… you know why? Because, during our struggles we are in survival mode, our brain can only focus on surviving. So then once our struggles end, we can see them for what they truly were. This is where you get the victim and survivor mentality.

You can choose whether you will become a victim to your struggles or a survivor.

For me, I always chose being a survivor, but because of that mentality, I guess I suppressed a lot of my feelings for so long that I forgot why those feeling were there to begin with. The only thing I wanted to do was get away from my struggles, survive, & power through them. I never really sat with them and worked through each individual issue. Well, not until now at least. Now with therapy, each week I get to peel another layer off. At first, I was so skeptical about the whole idea, like how was some stranger going to help me. But now, months into it, I wish I had done it sooner. 

All this self-reflection and time apart from my work, taught me that taking a break is not only okay but NEEDED as well.

It gave me the time I needed to focus on everything I wanted for myself, my family, and my work. It was almost like the past three years with Luwamé, I was in my own little struggle, the kind where you are always creating and being everything for everyone but yourself, yet I talked about “ME TIME” like it was part of the Bible and don’t get me wrong, I did all the work that I preached about but somewhere in the midst of quitting my full time career and becoming a trainer, somewhere in the midst of sharing my story and responding to countless requests from women all over the world, I fell off the wagon of taking care of me.

I forgot to enjoy (really enjoy) my kids laugh, my husband’s gentle touch, and my girlfriend’s words of wisdom. I forgot how to have fun and instead only worked on building other women up. Taking this time for me, I was able to do all that and fall in love with the person I am becoming again. 

I’m a big believer in the fact that EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.

My time away birthed so many amazing things that are now happening on Luwame.com. I’ve totally revamped the site, added new features, programs, freebies and much much more. Check it all out and tell me what you think. As you know, I’ve also started a new podcast (that was in the works pre-COVID)  but got paused along with the website. Inspired by Luwamé will have you laughing, saying “oh shit, this is so me”, nodding your head, and finally writing down all the take aways so that you too can practice everything we talk about. My goal with the podcast is to inspire you to want more for your life and to start doing the internal work that needs to be done so that you can become the woman you need to be to make your dreams happen for YOU. 

Last and most importantly, during my time away, I started writing my first ever fiction novel. It’s an empowering story based on my grandmother’s life and I can’t wait to share it with you. 

So, like I said in the beginning, I won’t call this a comeback, because I’ve been here for years, but you better believe “Mama said knock you out”.

The new version of Luwamé, the version I’m working on consistently is more fun, more focused and will definitely go easy on herself. 

Much Luv, 

Luwam T. 

There comes a moment in everyone’s life where we all have to hit the PAUSE button! PAUSE to reflect on all the good and bad that is happening. PAUSE to finally breathe some fresh air and simply just be still. PAUSE to see our lives for what they truly are. PAUSE to see how blessed we are even with all our troubles. JUST PAUSE! I’ve reached that point in my life and while I write this blog with tears in my eyes, I know it’s the right thing to do.

I’ll be quite honest with you…COVID-19 has been a HUGE wakeup call for me. I’m always on the go, always working hard and doing what needs to be done to grow Luwamé as a brand. I love what I do for a living and can easily lose myself in it, which is a good and bad thing at the same time. To me, Luwamé is never work, instead it’s my baby, something I started to inspire women everywhere to live their best life possible. When I started this blog 3 years ago, I had absolutely no idea where it would lead me. All I knew was that I wanted to help women from making the same mistakes I made in my life. I wanted a better life for you! It’s this theory that’s kept me going through all the ups and downs of this journey. I knew I was doing my life’s purpose and there was just no quitting that!

However, I’ve been so focused chasing my dreams, and taking on so many projects that I failed to see what it was doing to me and to my family at this time. I never stoped to re-adjust my work when Novena had surgery months ago, or even now, with the world has we know it changing daily, it’s still always go, go, go, for me. That mentality has driven me to feel so overwhelmed with work and home life that I just want to run away (please tell me I’m not the only one feeling this)! These feelings are mixed with guilt and shame because my husband and kids see me physically at home with them, but yet I’m mentally not present at all.  I’ve talked about this before and it’s something I wanted to be very intentional about but haven’t. That same feeling has now grown into insecurities at home, in my business, in my decision making and now, I feel it everywhere.

I feel it in my writing, in my parenting, in my relationship and when I’m coaching clients or teaching classes. My heart feels heavy and incomplete. I basically feel overwhelmed and pulled in too many directions. More overwhelmed than I’ve ever been and in this state of mind, I can’t focus enough to give you the best of me.

To give you a clear example- I’m currently in-between running or part of 7 different projects, plus we are now home schooling our kids and still have Novena in Physical Therapy 3 times a week. Our life is crazy! So what I’ve been doing lately is giving all my projects roughly 10-20% of my time, and slowly but surely I’m seeing everything suffer because of it. I can’t give anything 100% because there is just too much going on and I’m not in the right mindset. Keyword here is RIGHT MINDSET! Your mind is a very powerful tool, and without it being positive, nothing else will work for you. You could be the best at anything but without that positive mindset it will all be for nothing.

Everything happens for a reason, there are no mistakes in life, just life lessons! I love reflecting and journaling on everything that is happening around me because it shows me a clear path to what I did right/wrong and how I can better any situation.  I want to use my time home with the family to do just that- REFLECT. I want to hit the PAUSE button and reassess all the projects I’m working on, see what does and doesn’t bring me joy and grow the ones that do, while dropping that ones that don’t. I want to PAUSE and simply just be with my family without worrying about all the deadlines that I’m missing, without comparing my life to the next woman’s and most importantly without having a heavy heart. I need to work on me before I can bring anything else to the table!  I hope this inspires you to take a step back and see if you’re taking care of your emotional health as well. 

Can’t wait to be with you again!

With Love,